I am RETARDED

They say that the fool is someone that repeatedly performs the same task but always expects a different outcome even though the underlying conditions remain the same. He or she is often taken advantage of as this constant expectation of an alternate outcome is exploited by those that know better.

My mother “didn’t raise no fool”. I am retarded and I don’t care if you are offended by the term that I have used to deem myself as. Here is a brief summary of how I have come to make and embrace this semi- self-diagnosis and why I have the audacity to not only use but also embrace a much-debated adjective to describe myself.

I will never stop loving no matter how many times my heart is broken. I will never allow myself to be consumed by hate no matter how often I am exposed to hate by others. I will never be reduced to a race no matter how often I am told that is what I am(simply a race). I will never stop believing that love is real no matter how many times I am told that I am behaving like a child for clinging to that belief. I will never stop believing in the magic of life no matter how many scientists offer up explanations to define reality. I will never stop believing that I am in fact my brother’s keeper no matter how many times my brother pushes me away. I will never stop loving my children no matter how many times they profess to hate me. I will never stop believing in the beauty of humanity no matter how many times humans are ugly to one another. I will never apologize for loving no matter how many times I am told that an apology is owed. I will sing and I will dance and I will love and I will defy until I depart this place. I will be me no matter who tells me that I shouldn’t be. I will always try to fly no matter how many times I am told that it’s against the laws of physics and that I will need wings to carry me. I will never believe that I do not have wings just because they are not visible to the world around me. I will never stop being a man but I will always be my mother’s child. I will never bite my tongue so that others will feel comfortable. However, I will never hurt anyone intentionally no matter how much effort they put into hurting me. I am a child of god and the universe and I will never let anyone convince me otherwise. I will never remove my heart from my sleeve. I wear it proudly!

I am retarded. The word retarded itself is as imperfect in its perfection as I am. I find comfort in the five letters used to form the word. I never use the word to describe other human beings or any living creature for that matter. I fully embrace my uniqueness. I believe that due to my retardedness, I am full of love and hope and in my darkest hours I find comfort in the knowledge that light is real and it is as endless as the darkness.

Some will only read the headline and assume that they know what this post is about. After all we now live in an era when it’s ok to assume. The Era of Assume or something along those lines, is going to be the title of my next post.